Movie Zen

Confuscious Say: “The movies we rove (love) to watch, are of the heart. The movies we rive (live) to watch, are of the mind.”

There are two extremes that exist in Movie World (A fictional place where I spend the majority of my time).

Emotional Movies: A film that exists to connect. The more emotional (laughs, cries, tears) the film is, the better. Many attribute how much they like a film to how much it entertains them. Was this film able help me escape from reality for two hours? Was this film able to make me forget my worries and make laugh? Was this film able to connect with me at such an emotionally personal level that it made me cry or feel for its characters?

Intellectual Films: A film that teaches the audience/the culture that surrounds them. Does this film make me want to be a better person? Does this film represent some fraction of essential human truth? Does this film make me or my culture more informed? Does this film do something I thought was cinematically or artistically unachievable untill now?

No movie in the history of man(woman)kind has ever being a direct representation of one of these two extremes. They all far somewhere in between. The key is to find one that falls at the perfect center for you.

How I want the public to view movies…

Entertainment-------------------PerfectFilm-------------------Education
Emotion------------------------PerfectFilm-------------------Intellect
Heart--------------------------PerfectFilm-------------------Mind

(See…I connected this cool visual hicka-ma-dooey to the very accurate Confuscious quote from above)

You could argue that certain aspects such as a spiritual, psychological, or possibly in the future physical (3-D, Video Games etc…) connections with cinema should be considered as well, but for the sake of my simple/cool looking little line-o-gram-o-charto thing I’d like to keep it fairly simple.

Film is a deeply personal experience. Finding your own essential films can be some of the most gratifying experiences of your life. Finding them also makes it much easier to fill out the information section of your Facebook page. You can’t choose what films will be most important to you, but you can choose how you decide look for them. This is how I recommend you start your search.

Fantasy Film Projections

I have a sick dream (fantasy) that there will on day be Fantasy Film. I'm very curious to see how accurately I could guess the critical reception of movies before even the earliest reviews.

Every person in every theater always critiques a movie trailer while at the movies. Listen to the whispers at the end of every trailer next time you're in a theater! Apparently everyone's a critic!

I'll be using Rotten Tomatoes scores for my educated guesses. You could argue that there are sites that more accurately measure the critic's opinion (Metacritic), but RT is more populist and has a much wider range of scores that makes the guessing more exciting (Ex: very few movies are thrown in the 0-20 and 90-100 range in Metacritic, while Rotten Tomatoes has a fairly even distribution of 0-100 scores).

Rules
If my guess is within 5% of the final score, I get a point.
If my guess is within 10% nothing happens.
If my guess is off by more then 10%, I lose a point.

All scores have to be two percentages apart to avoid guessing all 50 (40-60) range movies and playing it safe. There's probably a better way to do this but I haven't though of it yet...

Green=Fresh=60-100
Red=Rotten=0-58
The colors have no real significance to the game but are visual pleasing.

Very Scientific...

Anyway here we go...

*This is not how I think the movie will perform, it's how I think critics will respond to the movie.

Spring Season

March

Alice in Wonderland: 78%

Brooklyn's Finest: 50%

Green Zone: 74%

Remember Me: 64%

She's Out of my League: 34%

The Bounty Hunter: 30%

Our Family Wedding: 52%

Repo Men: 56%

Season of the Witch: 24%

Greenberg: 60%

Hot Tub Time Machine: 72%

How to Train Your Dragon: 76%

I Love You Phillip Morris: 48%

April

Clash of the Titans: 58%

The Last Song: 20%

Leaves of Grass: 68%

Cemetery Junction: 62%

Date Night: 66%

Back-up Plan: 22%

Kick-Ass: 82%

Machete: 70%

Wall Street 2: 86%

A Nightmare on Elm Street: 32%

May

Iron Man 2: 84%

Letters to Juliet: 46%

Robin Hood: 80%

Shrek 4: 26%

Prince of Persia: 54%

Sex and the City 2: 38%

I'll do a post at the end of each month updating my own progress. Feel free to follow along, make you own guesses, or point and laugh at this ridiculously nerdy guessing game.

Shutter Island (2010): B+ (and The Secret to Adapting Dennis Lehane Novels)

(Creepy Grandma=Best Part of the Movie/Trailer)

Here's my review of Shutter Island, the new Michael Bay action/blood/boob fest.

Here's what I've figured out since writing the review. I think I've found the reason why some people just didn't find the movie a fun/enjoyable watch.

*Spoilers* (Kinda)

Dennis Lehane novels have been adapted twice to film before Shutter Island. The first is Mystic River (2003), directed by Clint Eastwood. While it draws some criticism for the overly emotional performances, the movie as a whole just works really well. The story is very much a character study, and one that benefits from having the audience emotional connected to it's main characters. Scorsese, much like Taxi Driver and parts of Cape Fear, keeps a distant from Leonardo's performance for respectable reasons. However, in such an intimate and psychological film like Shutter Island, you shouldn't be keeping a distance from Leo if you want your audience to feel something at the end.

Obviously if Marty was here defending himself he would say that the film is not about connecting with a narrator, especially an unrealiable one like Teddy. He would argue that were to easy on the audience and I'd have to agree. However, if you just weren't moved by the film's emotional twist ending, this might be why.

The other film that has adapted a Dennis Lehane novel is Ben and Casey Affleck's Gone Baby Gone (2007). Filled with amazing performances, this film also isn't afraid to lay on the emotion. This movie also has a big emotional twist ending (Like Shutter Island) that ends of making it one of the best films of that year.

So if you're the one walking out of the theater that just doesn't get what everyone's so crazy about, this could be why. I know it was creeping around in my mind all weekend.

TV Shows from my Childhood: Memory Lane

This song still gets me pumped. It's a drug.


La-Bore-A-Tor-E


Do the monkey with me.


Holy Cow.


I. Am. Weasel!


Chemical X!



Torture.


Action League....Now!







Crack...I mean chocolate boy.

The Kujak Redemption

Anyone seen the movie Shawshank Redemption? I've just lived that movie.

Soo here we go...

Rachel was being a bitch and wouldn't eat alone. So I said I'd come down and eat an ice cream treat.

Rachel gets her food. I wait at the table. When she gets back to the table I went to the Empo to get my ice cream treat.

Now, for those who know me...I've sometimes been known for daydreaming and just plain not paying attention (for example, washing my cellphone to death not just four hours ago). I walked into the store, grabbed the ice cream treat and walked out. I had money in my sweat pants to pay for it. I made no effort to hide the bar because I was completely oblivious to what I was doing. I sit down at our table, turn around and "The Man" is standing behind me.

I claim that it was a huge mistake but "The Man" isn't hearing any of it. They take me in the back room of the store and may or may not have water boarded me. Then after explaining myself, they handcuffed me and escorted me to the campus jail.

The cop actually utters the sentence "Open cell gate A" and a jail cell clicks open. I'm searched for weapons and told to wait. While waiting in the cell, I met a man named Red, who looks suspiciously like Morgan Freeman, and we talked for awhile. What seemed like 20 minutes was actually an hour and a half. After fighting off rapists and trying to dig my way out I was taken out of the cell. I was then fingerprinted and photographed with a slight smile on my face.

I was then handed a citation for $300 and told I had a court date to attend. I'd pretty much convinced the cop that I was a innocent and he told me if I tell the judge what I told him I should be able to keep it off my record and get it reduced to $50.

I called Betsey and she has been informed about everything.

I'm now in Zihuatanejo (Za-ha-wat-ow), Mexico awaiting my friend Red. An innocent man lost a good portion of his life today.


I'm a changed man now. I feel like I can relate to convicts who've done real time like myself. I hope everyone doesn't judge the new Kuj and can accept him for what he's become. 


You can speculate on your own how much of this is true or false. Since my story is so closely to that of Frank Darabont's masterpiece The Shawshank Redemption, I figured it was movie related enough to make it on the website.


On a lighter note, $50 for a candy bar is fairly redonkulous, but it was a fun experience pretending to be a dangerous criminal for awhile. 

Cinematic Valentine

If you think you're valentine day/weekend might revolve around seeing the new (un)romanctic comedy Valentine's Day, I urge you to reconsider.

Valentine's Day is about expressing your love in a creative way. This movie is very low on both love and creativity.

Valentine's Day has alot of the following: corporate film producers who think their creative, desperate writers who are struggling with their career, actors who want a vacation from acting, and most importantly- BIG pay checks. This movie knows there isn't a single person in this country that doesn't like atleast one of the actors/actresses involved in this picture. Believe me, they didn't hire them so that they could convey multiple meanings and perspectives on love. They hired them to insure that people will buy tickets.

It becomes clear early on in this movie that all the time and effort was spent on advertising and marketing instead of actual creative content. If you have dozens of rich white couples running around and reacting to shallow hollywood drama, the audience won’t be able to tell that none of these characters actually deserve a story. All the stories lack so much conflict that the only way the movie could make it seem like it was actually going somewhere, was to throw so many storylines at us that we simply thought there was drama taking place.

However, this pessimistic rant isn’t what you want to read this time of year. I’ll admit that I wasn’t seeing Valentine’s Day with my valentine. So maybe you’re thinking

I’m missing out on the grander experience of simply sharing this movie with my significant other. Trust me on this…don’t let this film come near your special day. It’s a clunker and it wants your money not your heart.

I will of course recommend 10 (technically 15) great Valentine’s Day movies since I’m tearing this one apart. 


But first, what's more romantic? 


Option 1: Going to the same movie that most couples are going to go to this weekend.


Option 2: Finding a cozy setting, lighting some love-making candles, and popping in a movie that can actually make the night special.


Top 10 (15) Movies for Valentine's Day


10. He’s Just Not That Into You or Definitly, Maybe: If you really think Valentine’s Day looks intriguing, these movies are better substitutes that still fill you’re celebrity hunger.

9. Thelma and Louise: If you’re a she and your significant other is a she.

8. Shakespearre in Love: If you're very (VERY) old school.

7. Paris Je’Taime or Amelie: If the French can get one thing right, it’s love.

6. Say Anything: Because it says everything.

5. Sleepless in Seattle or You've got Mail – If you think you’re the perfect couple (False, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are the perfect couple).

4. The Apartment or When Harry Met Sally: If you want to know the heart of human relationships.

3. The Princess Bride: My 8 year old self groans at this pick. Then my 8 year old self actually watches the movie and is swept off his ignorant ass.

2. Before Sunrise/Sunset: Warning - Watching these movies has caused people to  fall in love. I'm talking "Romeo and Juliet kill yourself" love. Don't watch it unless your significant other is very significant.

1.     Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: If you want to remember this Valentine’s Day forever (Then later, break up with your significant other and seek out a way to get the memory of this day erased).